


Lyrically Speaking

by undun



Series: Eventually Eventuating [6]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Dialogue Fic, Drabble, Humour, M/M, Sexual Humour, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-24
Updated: 2013-03-24
Packaged: 2017-12-06 08:07:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/733424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undun/pseuds/undun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock is keen. Very keen. Perhaps a little too keen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lyrically Speaking

[dramatic door opening] “Right. Bed’s fixed, John.”

 

[newspaper rustling] “Oh? Go-o-od.”

 

[twitches] “Well?” [finger wiggle]

 

[newspaper rustling] “Hmm?” “What?”

 

“Let’s do it!”

 

“Do what?”

 

“John! Has your tiny little brain already forgotten my offer?” [quietly] “That’s not unexpected, but it _is_ disappointing.”

 

“What, why–what the hell are you talking about?”

 

“Sex, John.” [pause] “That got your attention, didn’t it?”

 

[newspaper falling to floor] “Um, yes?” “So. You want _it_. Again?”

 

[huffing breath] “Honestly.” [flaps hands] “Keep up, John. Do you want _me_ to fuck _you_? I did make the offer three days ago.” [pause] “You’ve forgotten.”

 

“No! No, I just… thought you were joking.”

 

“Joking.”

 

“Er.” [clears throat] “Yes. That’s… what I thought. Yes. Sort of?”

 

“Do I joke, John?”

 

“Um.” [scratches head] “Er. Not as a rule, I suppose. Sorry.” [clears throat] “My mistake.”

 

“So?”

 

“Now?”

 

“Is there any reason to wait?”

 

[scratches forehead] “No-o. Okay. But no lab equipment, evidence bags, cameras–”

 

[hand waving] “Whatevs!” [swirls] “Come _on_!”

 

~~~~~~~

 

“Slow! Slow-slow-slow! Down.” [grunts] “Shit.”

 

“I slowed down. Are you alright?” “This feels. Very–”

 

[shocked grunt] “Oh! Tight?” [gasp] “Just… please, you– can?”

 

“I’m not sure. What. You mean.” [lipsmack] “Ah, John!”

 

“Give me some time… to-to adjust!”

 

“Yes, of course.” [twitches] “I’ve been living in twilight.”

 

“Ah! Hmm.” “Er, what?”

 

[slow thrust] “It’s a strange magic, John…”

 

[drawn out groan] “Ohgodyeah!”

 

“I’ve never seen anything like you!” [less slow thrusting]

 

“Shit, fuck! Shitfuck!”

 

“We got a good thing going on!” [rapid thrusting]

 

“Oh, yeah! God, again-again.”

 

[continued rapid rogering] “It’s… a living thing!” “A terrible thing to lose–”

 

“Jesuschristalmight–” “Hngh.” [pause] “Wait. What?”

 

[dedicated rogering] “You shine a little love on my life, John.”

 

“Wait. Hang on!” [to self] “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” [louder] “Sherlock, stop. Stop!”

 

“John?” “Don’t bring me down!”

 

[joint panting]

 

[clears throat] “What were you talking about. Just then. When–”

 

“When I was thrusting?” [hip twitch]

 

[gasp] “Ahh, yeah.”

 

“I was told that romantic phrases enhanced sexual pleasure for one’s partner. Is that not true?”

 

“Oh. I think, yes.” [pause] “Wait, who were you talking to?”

 

“Mrs Hudson.” [hip twitch] “It’s very difficult to… not move.”

 

[drawn out moan] “ Oh, that’s, um–” [coughs] “Okay, just to clarify, Mrs Hudson gave you advice for–”

 

“Satisfying my partner during sexual intercourse.”

 

“And, um, was it, did she… Did you specifically mention that I was the partner in question?” [tremble]

 

[growl] “She. I. Yes.” [tiny thrust]

 

“GOD.” [gurgle] “Just, just. What was I saying?”

 

[hums] “I like you like this, John.” [slightly less tiny thrust]

 

[louder gurgle] “Hang on. You both thought I needed you to say sweet nothings during sex?” [moan] “Oh, do that again!”

 

[serious thrusting] “Yes. She. Had some interesting. Tips.” [panting]

 

[gasp, grunt] “Sherlock, believe me when I tell you – this needs no embellishment. [alarmingly squeaky grunt] Oh, god…oh, god-god-god-”

 

“John! I think, I think I’m, I’m com–”

 

[shouting] “FUCK. GOD. SHERLOCK!”

 

[violent bed squeak] “Ohhhhh!”

 

[panting and puffing] [puffing and panting] [the odd whimper]

 

[clears throat] [sliding skin] [creaking joints] “Probably too old for that kind of caper.” [hums happily]

 

[snap of hair static] “Nngh.”

 

“Yep. You said it.”

 

“Hhng.”

 

“I fucking know!” “And just to get this straight, Sherlock–”

 

“Gnnh?”

 

“I’m not an Electric Light Orchestra fan.”

 

“Ghng.”

 

“Glad that’s sorted. Move over, there’s a wet patch.”

 

“Mnngh.”

 

“Don’t make me get the Browning.”

 

[slither-shuffle]

 

“Thank you.”

 

[seconds tick by]

 

“You _are_ my Mr Blue Sky, John.”

 

[giggles] “You took my body–”

 

“And you took my mind!”

 

[manic giggling]

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


End file.
